Story 1

It's tiring to be a person of color. There's a different set of unspoken rules we have to abide by in America. I can only speak of my personal experiences on first hand experiences and/or how I've been subjected to those unspoken rules.
1) Halloween some years ago...teaching 6th grade...I decided to go as Athena. The comments I got then from a colleague, "Athena was Greek, right? Not Asian."
2) At another school function teaching US History, a reenactment of the Civil War era, I dressed in Colonial costume, the comment I received then..."Asians presence during Colonial times were just the Chinese men working on the railroads."
3) Another time, a kid failed my class, the parent's response to the failure was because my accent was so bad that the kids couldn't understand my lessons. The irony is in that same year, I was awarded teacher of the year in my subject matter.
4) I witnessed an argument between a White husband and an Asian wife, "what do you know about good food? You are from a 3rd world country."
5) In my years of teaching, eyebrows raised and comments always made when an Asian kid makes a bad choice. As though Asian kids are not allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Or is it they are not allowed to get caught?
6) I believe that Black Lives Matter. I get corrected that, "You are Asian. Your life matter too." (As though I betrayed Asians when I support my Black friends)
7) I I believe that Black Lives Matter. I get told that, "They are destroying our country." No, they are not. The looting, rioting, and violence are acts of opportunists taking advantage of people's raw emotions and anger at the times of unrest for their personal gain or to satisfy their curiosity of how it feels to destroy other people's property without repercussions because the police is overwhelmed.
8) When comments are made against my belief, it is expected that I either not to say anything and be quiet, decline engagement, or just laugh it off. If I react, it would be commented that, "You are over-reacting." Or a pre-emptive reply would be, "adults engage in conversation. They don't unfriend." Or, "We are friends. Friends can have opposing view points." Sure they can but friends don't belittled their friend of opposite view points with disrespectful comics.

Those are just a few that stood out in my ADULT memory. Then there's the pandemic issue:

1) I believe in science. I get taunted by people for wearing my masks. I get inferred as a "walking dead", "sheep", "ignorant".
2) I wear my mask so that just in case I am sick, I don't give it to you. Instead, I get sent the image of a lone astronaut (virus representation) floating through a gaping hole (fabric weaving) to tell me that my action of wearing a mask is futile and its ridiculousness.
3) I get comics sent to my inbox about suddenly Covid-19 is okay now that Black Lives Matter protest erupt all over the country.
4) I believe in leadership who listen to the people. I get comic sent to my inbox about why Trump is suddenly the guy to blame for all the problems in America today.

Through all of this, it sure feels like I am in an abusive relationship. How do I get out? Will I ever get out?

I am a person of color and I am tired of having to live under a different set of rules and unspoken contracts. I look at my "White" friends who have the strength and freedom to speak their mind, I envy that. If I do that, believe me, I'll be ostracized for being non-compliance. So, thank you to my friends who are standing up and speaking out on my behalf. You are helping to give me a voice.

-C. Nguyen

Story 2

I grew up Hispanic in a poor area filled with gangs and crime. The population was mostly also Hispanic, but everyone in power was almost always White. For a while, in my youth, I actually thought you had to be White to get certain jobs since I almost never saw anyone like me in certain roles, especially in government. Here are some stories from my family regarding racism:

1 - Sometimes I would stay late at school to support my girlfriend who was in Badminton. We had permission from the school to be on campus late because of sports activities and volunteer programs. Once a cop saw us after a game going to our lockers to retrieve our textbooks. He came up to us and demanded to search us saying we must be stealing something for us to be "trespassing on school ground" at a late hour. We still had our sports gear and everything, so it was very obvious we were there for sports and were simply getting our textbooks now so we could take them home for our homework, but the cop insisted that we were thieves. Eventually the cop saw others from the team coming around and realized he was clearly wrong about us. He still yelled that we still shouldn't be there late and that there is no way for them to tell us apart from "the bad guys." My girlfriend had commented that her White teammates never had this happen to them, but that it has happened to the others sometimes.

2 - I went to the clinic very ill and the doctor insisted that I must have been partying and doing drugs because &"that's what you people like to do, right?" I am not that type of person but the doctor continued to insist I must be feeling ill because of illegal drugs in my system that have not worn off. I agreed to a urine/blood test since I felt awful and needed help. The results showed I did not have any drugs in my system. The doctor was surprised and simply sent me home saying she didn't know what could be wrong with me. She said to just go to the Emergency Room if I still didn't feel well in a few hours, as if I could afford that. This has happened to me multiple times with different doctors.

3 - One day my Mom and Dad were driving to the store. One intersection had the traffic being directed by a cop. The cop waved to my dad to move up and then quickly whistled and told him to stop while he was in the middle of the intersection. My dad complied but was confused. The cop angrily went to my dad's car and said he was going to write him a ticket. My dad asked why and the cop said it was for stopping at an intersection. My dad said that it was not fair since the cop was the one that told him to stop in the middle of the intersection. The cop responded saying that what is not fair is that he has to work while "you wetbacks get to go shopping."

4 - My grandpa when he was younger was ignored at a fast food restaurant so that the white guy behind him could be served instead.

5 - Early on when my mother had recently immigrated to the US, she went to the post office to drop off mail and buy stamps. She had to buy stamps from the cashier. Her English at the time was not perfect but it was very clear that she wants to "buy stamps" and "I have $20." The cashier made a disgusted face at her and said something along the lines of "I don't understand you, go away." My mother tried to repeat and point at what she needed and showed that she had the money for it but the cashier was refusing to help her and was asking for the line to move along. My mother was disheartened and was starting to walk away when the next person in line told her to wait and then proceeded to yell at the cashier saying that there is no way she didn't understand my mother and to stop being stupid and just sell her the damn stamps. The cashier was reluctant but gave in once the other person started asking about their supervisor.

6 - One time my manager whispered under his breath "disgusting"; while driving through a black neighborhood. He also commented, "they're probably inside doing drugs."

7 - That same manager once argued against systemic racism, saying that it is not true because he has "friends who are minorities who are doing great!" I tried to have a serious discussion about the topic but he only doubled down saying that the people who the cops have killed are usually "just criminals and drug users"; and "people who don't matter." This exchanged helped me understand Black Lives Matter more and how blind some people are to racism. (Sidenote: My annual review was lower than usual that year, and it was definitely not because of my actual performance but because of this argument.)

8- A coworker once had to park our car in a restaurant parking lot for a moment to check on something. A Black man was going to pass by the car and my coworker immediately hit the button to lock all the doors. The man was just passing by us to get to the restaurant behind us, but my coworker was scared thinking that we were about to be robbed.

9 - My mother was once publicly protesting some plans that the city council were voting on. Some white neighbors scolded her, telling her things like "shut up", "go back to your country", and "you have no rights here." My mother had already learned English by then and had passed the citizenship test. She was legally American, but was still being told to go back to Mexico. There's plenty more but these are the ones that came to my head first. I hope things can change some day. -D.G. #BlackLivesMatter

Story 3

Seriously, you want to know?...what it was like for a little Italian girl with dark skin (tan), and curly dark hair to grow up in the racist south in the 1950’s? I had to sit in the back of the bus. I had to drink out of the “colored” water fountain and if I tried to eat at a lunch counter, I was ignored. Other than that...oh, and the special names I was called...priceless. I do have a great story about my dad coming into my classroom to defend me...it’s too long to write.
K McCord

Story 4

I NEED TO SPEAK! - I DIDN’T HIDE MY PAIN FROM ANYONE! I WAS ALWAYS TRANSPARENT ABOUT WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING.

One year ago (2019) I was a victim of BLATANT  #RacialDiscrimination. My victimization happened at my place of employment. A job that I had been with since March 01, 2017. I’m sure many of you know this place #FirstWatch daytime cafe. #FirstWatch employs white VP’s, managers, cooks and servers that are very comfortable and confident with committing such despicable actions.

By this being my very first job as a server, I felt a bit naive when it came to the food and beverage, behind the scene etiquette. But what I do know as a pro, is how to administer EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE, and how to be a righteous #TeamPlayer!

I was told from my white male GM that #WhiteWomen in Alpharetta, GA don’t like me because...I’m Black! There was no gateway into that statement, but it just randomly regurgitated out his mouth to me. After that statement, I was then treated and referred to as “too old” to serve, “not that great of a server”, and was given terrible shift times and table sections. This was my main source of income, so I held my head up, and motivated myself to not let their enemies beat and bully me to quit.

Well, after reaching close to my second year, and taking a transfer to the #Johnscreek location the racism turned from bad to worse. Under the supervision of this stores white male Asst. Manager, I was called “An Angry BLACK Woman”, MADEA, told that I wear fake hair, referred to as being “too dark” in the front of the restaurant, told sarcastically to the staff not to describe those at the table as “Nappy Hair”, mocked on MLK day that us BLACKS get sensitive about water hoses, was given slow sections, manipulated scheduling, refused to work with, lied on, had bleach chemicals splashed in my eye, and called a “Black Bitch”! YES, IT WAS UNREAL. Written statements were made and sworn to, but the the corporations white male, regional VP and white male district manager either ignored the HR violations, falsified statements given to cover themselves, and bullied other staff members to report something different.

The stress of it all was finally taking a hard toll on me both physically and mentally. So, I filed a complaint, provided meticulous detailed accounts of dates, texts, taped confessions and pictures to the #EEOC rep, and to #FirstWatch HR, which are both white women. HR DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and the EEOC rep just ignored all the evidence, because of their workload. HR flew herself and her bosses to speak to the management so they could all get their stories straight. After their meeting, I was now being BULLIED and RETALIATED against. THEY WANTED ME OUT! There’s so much more I could say, but I’ll spare you all. (Feel free time ask and I’ll share)

TO SUM THINGS UP, especially for my BLACK BROTHERS and SISTERS... I contacted the #NAACP about this and they never returned my calls. THEY DIDN’T HELP ME! One of the BLACK servers I got hired LIED AGAINST ME and didn’t SUPPORT ME just so she could stay cool with the white asst. manager and to keep her job. SHE DIDN’T CARE THAT THIS BLACK SISTER NEEDED TO BE LIFTED UP, while trying to get JUSTICE. My amazing BLACK God-Daughter Brooke Tyus (who’s an attorney in Cleveland) and I both reached out to SEVERAL BLACK employment attorneys in GA, and they either would not return my calls or they wanted to charge me extremely high rates. My statutory time frame ran out! THEY DIDN’T HELP ME; and a BLACK male that I was dating accused me at one point of taking things too personal, instead of just holding me and providing a SAFE SPACE. HE DIDN’T HEAR ME!

YES, I am an avid believer and supporter of #BlackLivesMatter, but why does it feel as if it’s only important to support, protest and post when national attention is involved? Where was this type of rallying when I was tell those around me what I was going through, and how it was breaking me physically, spiritually and mentally? I truly hope and pray that going forward, when someone, like myself has a cry for HELP after being stepped on by the racism we face in this country YOU’LL LISTEN AND CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THE FIGHT!

The #ANXIETY I developed was suffocating me LITERALLY! Chest tight, migraines, raised BP, hair loss, and crying before every shift. I’m just so #grateful that #suicide never crept into my mind.
#FirstWatch is NOT a corporation that supports #BLM! I am a witness to that! #ShareMyPost 🖤🏽

 

Story 5

Getting pulled over in Laguna Beach so a cop could make sure I was ok.  Why?  In the passenger seat was one of my closest friends from college.  A black young man who happened to be a UCLA track athlete and engineering student.  I was maybe 19 at the time and it was definitely an “aha” moment as a young white woman from Orange County.  
J O’Gara

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